What is the appropriate terminology?

Question

So growing up I had an uncle-let's call him Bill. Bill has recently decided to transition and now goes by-let's say Bethany. Bethany said when she was transitioning that she would always be her wife's husband,and her son's father. She also still lets her mother(she's 91) call her Bill and use male pronouns, just because that's what she's so used to after 48 years.
But as for my siblings what is she to us now? Would she still be our Uncle, or would she be our Aunt?
Bonus question: Would she be my mothers Brother still, or is she now a Sister?

The fact that she still uses the terms husband, father, and son confused me as far as what we say.

Side note: we don't address our family as aunt or uncle, we call them by their first name...that's why this never came up.

Answer

You should ask Bill/Bethany how she'd like to be addressed.

Answer

I would ask her. If she has other people sticking to male pronouns, she may want you to do the same.

Answer

She's your aunt. Calling her your uncle puts her life in danger if somebody transphobic hears you.

Answer

You should ask your family member directly and privately what they prefer.

Answer

Ask Bill/Bethany. There is not one answer that would apply for all transgender persons

Answer

Ask. Whatever they want to use is what you should call bethany.

Answer

Sounds like she's fully capable of telling you what she'd prefer if you asked privately and respectfully.

Answer

It doesn't particularly come up when I talk to her, because I always just use first names with my family.
It's more so when I talk to other people. Of course I could ask her, I will next time I see her.
I just wondered what y'alls insight was :)

Answer

Whatever she wants. Just ask. I'm sure she would rather have you ask, than have you be uncomfortable or have you use the wrong terms.

What is the appropriate terminology?

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