Does it make me a crappy mom if I stop pumping? (lots of difficulties breast feeding)

Question

My son is 1 month old. I cannot breast feed because I have really small nipples (he can't latch well) and also a very fast let down (if he latches after a long time of trying he starts choking and unlatches). I tried nipple shields and he hates it and talked to a lactation consultant and I'm just at a loss. I really wanted to breast feed. I only pump now and its inconvenient. My son doesn't give me time to pump so I miss sessions and my supply is going low and waking up at night to pump is depressing and exhausting. It's just making me crazy thinking about it. I want to stop pumping and making milk for my own sanity but is it wrong of me to deprive my baby of breast milk? I don't know what to do. Can anyone offer me some advice? Thank you..

Answer

You're not a crappy mom if you stop breast feeding. You gave him breast milk for a month! That's amazing! One thing my mom told me when I was breast feeding and I was just having such a hard time and was slipping into post partum depression is that it's important for your baby that you are happy. So if you're so stressed about this it's more important that you keep yourself happy and healthy so you can take care of your baby at 100%. If quitting does that for you then that's what you do. If continuing to breast feed does that for you then that's what you do. As long as baby is happy, healthy and fed then you're doing great.

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If you decide to formula feed it doesn't make you a crappy mom at all. Do what's best for your sanity and for baby. As long as he's fed that's all that matters.

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I pumped for 1 month because my son wouldn't latch without a nipple shield and literally hated being on my boob. I pumped every 2 hours and still wasn't making enough milk. I was stressed and sleep deprived and getting depressed. My husband told me to stop pumping and I did. I felt so bad about it and like I let my son down. I thought we wouldn't bond either because I wasn't breastfeeding. I feel so much happier and at 11 weeks he's happy and healthy and a mamas boy. You have to do what's right for you. Taking care of yourself is essential to be able to take care of your baby. Do I wish I was breastfeeding? Yes. It didn't work out but that's life. A fed baby is best by any means. Don't let anyone make you feel bad and don't beat yourself up!!! You're doing great! Good luck mama!

Answer

I could only bf my daughter for a month and it was the hardest month ever she just couldn't latch right.... girl formula is a godsend and the anxiety and burden that came off me when we just BOUGHT it and put it in counter 😪😪😪 ........my now 4 month old son nurses great I'm ALL about bf and the greatness breastmilk but I would not pump, NO time for it. I'm totally prepared this time to let It go easier when it's time, say when he gets teeth or if something happens to my supply idk I'm not going to stress. I'm SO thankful for formula.

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I have a heavy let down to I lay back while nursing and it has helped a lot he still chokes sometimes but it's not as bad as when I'm sitting up

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There's nothing wrong with stopping because of difficulty. Don't let anyone tell you your a bad mom bc you stop. Plenty of woman don't breastfeed due to issues, medical reasons s ect... and plenty just don't because they don't want to.

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You do what you need to do to stay sane and happy for your baby and make sure your baby is happy and healthy. Whatever you need to do to have those two outcomes is totally fine. I will offer this: we really struggled with breastfeeding, the latching/unlatching thing, fussiness, not a good latch etc. and it got a ton better after around 2 months. So there is hope if your true desire is to breastfeed and you've just got that point of total frustration. That said, at 8 months with me back at work full time we direct feed 3-4 times per day, she gets 1-2 breast milk bottles and 1 formula bottle per day. You just figure out how to make it work for you.

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It doesn't make you a bad momma! I'm 9 weeks now almost exclusively pumping and what I do is I pump for a feeding ahead so like in the morning I usually get 8 oz then I give him 4 and then save the other 3-4 for when he's hungry again and pump after if that makes sense so it's not so hectic with a hungry baby.

Answer

My daughter is 5 months and I've been pumping for 4. Can't breastfeed anymore either. I found pumping very difficult at first, and drained all of my time. What helps for me is that I set small goals - just to make it another month, and then keep adjusting as I meet them. I also invested in a good pumping bra that means I can do other things while pumping - housework or playing with my baby, and I found that it cut down on pumping time since it's more efficient. A swing is also great to keep my baby occupied while I'm pumping.

I managed to eliminate the night time pumping (when baby started sleeping through the night - there's no way I was waking up if she wasn't lol) and that's what really makes it easier but that means pumping more during the day until your supply is established. I'm down to 5 pumps a day and about to go down to 4. If my supply goes, I plan on supplementing with formula.

You could also just pump as much or as little as you want and do formula for the rest.

Answer

Doing what's best for both you and your baby does not make you a crappy mom 🙂 
It's easy to feel like you're not doing good as a mom, especially when it comes to breastfeeding troubles. I have small nipples as well and had a very strong let down with my first baby. She would choke almost every time I nursed her so I looked up solutions online. I'd sometimes feed her while laying on my back with her on top of me belly to belly, but most times I'd kinda hand express some of the milk out until the flow slowed and that helped a lot. 
My first lactation consultant wasn't the greatest so I went to a breastfeeding support group and they were very hands on. They helped me latch my daughter on pain free for the first time 2 weeks after having her and we had no issues after that. The nipple size didn't seem to affect my ability to nurse or latch, but I can only speak on my own experience. Maybe try finding a different lactation consultant if you decide to continue nursing a bit longer. Prayer and encouragement sent your way 🙏🏾

Does it make me a crappy mom if I stop pumping? (lots of difficulties breast feeding)

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