Best friend sabotaging my relationship
Hi Ladies (and gents) I'm hoping some of you can help me process my current situation. My apologies in advance if this runs long.
My best friend and I live together. We moved from our hometown 3 years ago after being accepted to an out of state graduate program. My boyfriend and I were together for 4 months before getting an unplanned but very welcomed BFP. My roommate found out first about the pregnancy, it was pretty hard to hide because I immediately stopped drinking and smoking (things we did together) and I was nauseous all the time. She was excited, and congratulated us.
Well, My boyfriend doesn't care for my best friend because he says that she doesn't treat me good. For example, a few weeks ago my nurse advised me to go to ER as I was experiencing a lot of bleeding and abdominal pain. It was also my week to take out the trash. I spent 8 hours in ER before being discharged around 10pm. I told my roommate where I was as soon as I got there. The next day my roommate sends me a snide text complaining that I missed trash day and that the trash was stinking up the house. There was no concern or inquiry about my or the baby's health. I figured I'd get some pregnancy jealousy from her as she decided on an abortion last year and still struggles with the decision but this really caught me off guard. I just shrugged it off.
Well my parents came into town not too long ago to meet my boyfriend as we've decided to keep the baby. Usually my mom will cook a nice home cooked meal for my roommate and I but this time we spent a lot of time at doctors apointments, my boyfriends job had an event we all went to support and my parents hotel was really snazzy so we spent a lot of time enjoying the amenities there. It wasn't until my parents returned home that my roommate reached out to my mom saying she had concerns about my bf. My mom immediately called her and listened to her concerns. She told my mom that all of my friends were concerned that he has me in a cult and that they think he's racist. (I'm black, he's Italian)
She couldn't support her claims and my mom is pretty level headed (she's a social worker) so she listened and asked lots of clarifying questions. My best friend told my mom about every little argument she thinks she's overheard and how I initially wanted an abortion when I first found out. She thinks he "brainwashed" me into keeping the baby. I reached out to "all my friends" that she mentioned thought I was in a cult and none of them felt that way. Even a friend I'm not even on the best of terms with right now (I swallowed a lot of pride just reaching out to her over this.)
She failed to tell my mom that my bf makes me breakfast every morning since finding out, keeps my car filled with gas so I don't have to do it, has been a trooper with my mood swings and continues to support me and attend every doctors appointment. We've started saving for the baby and have been discussing our future living arrangements. We've also talked about marriage and our future as a family. She mentioned none of the positive things, just the few bad things she could think of. My mom mostly saw through it but told me she encouraged my best friend to reach out to her if she had anymore concerns. Before ending the call my mom told her that she would be telling me about this conversation but would give her a day or two to tell me first.
She still hasn't told me.
She went out of town and is due to come home soon. I have to bring this up but am hoping for some perspective. Is she being malicious here or is she legitimately concerned? She did tell my mom that she was nervous about my boyfriend and I moving in together and she would be left alone to find a new place to live alone.