Please share birth experiences! I'm scared!

So I always said that I'd never have a baby because I have a truly crippling fear of the whole birthing process (but surprise! Lol). The crazy part is that I don't fear gaining weight, or even labor pain...what I fear most is the possible damage my body might undergo. I fully realize recuperation is just gonna be necessary and things are gonna hurt/be sore, but did anyone experience bad rips or have bad episiotomies? I'm just sooo nervous about possible incontinuance or very severe rips! I already have Crohns Disease and the struggles that go along with that, so I'm just really nervous. I'm only 5"1', 100 SO is 6"3', and like 185pounds...and he was a 10 pound baby!!! Anyone care to share how what you've experienced? Thank you!