I'm not sure what's going on. I really think I just need an ear to listen.

I started birth control last month and it's been fine I just took my first day of my second pack and suddenly today I'm just having some emotional thoughts. I mean.. I've been thinking this way for a while but today it's just really hitting me and I've been on and off crying about it today. I don't know if it's from the birth control or not.. but I really would love to pack up my car and run away.

I've been with the love of my life for 4 years and he FINALLY popped the question in December. I have been thrilled over my head about it.. but he's become a different man. He's just not fun anymore. He's a boring old man. I have literally not went on a date in over a year. He works all day and comes home and starts working on our house, which is great.. it needs some things done before we move in... but he literally does nothing other than work and sleep. On days he doesn't work on the house he just wants to sit around the house.

I'm going insane. I don't have any friends really. I have some male friends but their wives don't really like me spending time with them without the wifes. I go see my mom once a week and she gets off work at 3 and he gets off at 4.. he wants me home when he gets home..so I literally have an hour with my mom a week.

I've been begging to just go spend the day at the lake for over a month now and he says he's too busy.. the last 3 days he's not worked on the house he's just said he's too tired to do anything. When I mention the fact that he's not busy and we can finally go he gets snooty and says "I can't even have a day of rest!!!" I have spoke to him so many times about this issue and he always promises he's gonna work on it.. that he will make time for me.. and he never does. I even called off the wedding last month over this and he cried and begged me saying he would do anything if I stay.. so I did. But I just don't know. He says after the wedding we will spend time together all all the time.. but even before he proposed he hardly gave me attention for the last year. My sex life is a joke. I have to plead and beg him to have sex with me.. and as soon as we're done.. he goes straight to sleep.

I don't believe in divorce.. I'm terrified I'm going to be so depressed after the wedding.. I don't know. Am I making a mistake? Do I see if it gets better??

I've tried making friends with girls and I just can't get along with any.

Help. Is this my birth control making it extra emotional this time??

I've begged all day to please go to the lake and he says he's too busy.. and he's not done a single thing he said he was gonna do today..

*if anyone does actually read this.. we had a joint bachelor party last weekend.. since all his groomsmen are my friends we just did it all together. He spent a day with his guys and had a blast & I spent the day with my girls.. the next day we was all together and he was instantly back to the old man not fun guy.. we was all drinking in the hot tub and he just sat outside the tub and watched. Didn't drink anything. I was obviously feeling good and wanted sex that night.. he shot me way down and ended up arguing with me about it. He didn't wanna do anything that day while we was together. He was just..there. he tells me he loves me he's just "tired" .. why could he spend the day with the guys and have fun..? But not with me :(

I try to be sweet and dance around the house with him and he pushes me away all the time.. like really..?