The day you realize it's really over..

After a long night of tears and screaming, you wake up.. Only to realize, that everything wasn't a big nightmare and it is actually "over".. All the hurtful words, all the broken glass, all the little kicks in your stomach from your daughter almost like she's trying to force you to calm down. The agony, you wake up feeling empty, you lay there staring at the ceiling hoping and praying that you feel your phone vibrate and it's him.. You give yourself time in the darkness, almost so much time you begin to wonder if it's even worth getting up.. You're in shock, all you can do is think about the memories the late night talks and the way you two would talk about your future and how many kids you would have.. Then you think about that text.. Not just any text but "THE TEXT" not from him who should be man enough, but from another female. Telling you not to have any expectations of a relationship with him, because it was no longer going to happen.. Your mind races as you begin to wonder who she is, and why this is all happening in this order.. You find out its his "best friend" the one who you don't have to worry about because they've been friends since grade school and oh not to mention "She's family babe"... Everytime you think of it, you relive that moment from where you first read it.. 8 months pregnant with his little girl.. The little butterflies he gave you once are now kicks.. You love and adore those kicks.. But now with every move she makes you're reminded, reminded of the pain and all the lies... Lies that you believed.. Finally after your mind is done racing you get up, you take a shower, only to think back to when you were 16 & sneaking around his moms house to take a shower together so you guys didn't get caught, you think about how he held your tiny little waist from behind and how he laid his head on your shoulder and said "I love you".. You get out and begin to dry off, you see yourself in the mirror and realize you're not so " tiny" or attractive anymore.. But it's because of the life he gave you. That little girl that's inside of you.. You don't hate her, you know you love her but you ask God why.. You're dressed some what, in other people's eyes you just threw yourself together.. You walk down the hallway to eat lunch, it's 1:05 PM.. You see the pickles and remember the time you two were having a lazy day and you wrapped provolone cheese around your pickle and ate damn near the whole jar.. He looks at you and smiles asking "are you pregnant?" You laugh it off because you know you're not! After eating you go to take out the trash, as you go to the downstairs bathroom you began to be reminded of the day that you took that digital test at 5:00 AM.. You facetimed him just to see a huge smile appear on his face as he read aloud the word "pregnant".. From that point forward you two planned to be a family.. He was excited.. You're done cleaning so you sit on the same couch where the two of you played his favorite game all day when we were younger.. The memories are overbearing so you go back to your room, your room with the purple walls and the blackout curtains, you lay on the same bed where you were told "I love you" for the first time..And you think of those words you heard from him before " THE TEXT" ... "I'm stuck, I'm not ready to be a dad, I never wanted a kid, my life is ruined"... " I don't think this is going to work".. They came out of NOWHERE, you didn't talk to him for 4 days. With every phone call you prayed when you looked down that it was him! And finally YES!! IT'S HIS NAME ON YOUR SCREEN!! *Yes*!! You guys have a nice cordial conversation and he asks "Do you think about me?, I've been dreaming about you, I can't wait to see you".. In your surprise you think he's coming back! You think "Thank God, he's over his little fit he had". The two of you hang up. You text him and begin to ask questions, "do you see a future with us?", " Is this love or lust?" "Why are you not responding"..... " I wish I could stop loving you".. Then you get "The text"... And really realize it's over.. It's been over, you've just been too blind to see it..