So my in laws (mother, father and brother) have said they are visiting after the baby is born. They want to stay (at ours, not a hotel) for the last week of my husband's paternity leave, so the baby will be around 3-4 weeks old. But they want to stay for a whole week, go see other family for a few days and come back to us for another 3 nights. I come from a family that is very independent and we don't like to be in each other's space, unlike my husband's. It's stressing me out and the baby isn't even here yet. My mother in law is very controlling and outspoken, she's aware of how I feel but is trying to make out that she's doing us a favour waiting as long as 3-4 weeks. She also said I have to leave the room to breastfeed my baby (as my 21 year old brother in law is autistic and would feel uncomfortable). She said I'm welcome to go upstairs and sleep. I think she thinks I'm leaving the baby downstairs with them! How could I pick up on the baby's feeding signals if I'm not with them? I just want to be left alone, the 3 of us, so I can relax in pjs around the house and breastfeed in any room I want, eat when I want and chill as much as possible.

I'm a very stressful person as it is, and when they stay now just for a long weekend I feel stressed and uncomfortable in my own home. It affects my ability to relax and even affects my health-bowels and mood. So having to cater and host-cook and clean and entertain, and with a new born baby I don't think I can cope.

I understand they want to be involved (they live 500miles away) but I just can't cope with them that long and so soon. I'm grateful they want to be involved and appreciate the support, but I'm anxious my mother in law will try and take over and play mom- she's made immature comments and I've seen the way she is with other babies in the family.

I've told my husband how I feel. I think about it everyday, and feel she's ruining what should be an amazing moment for us. But he is too scared to say anything to her as he doesn't want to upset her. He thinks I'm being mean.

I've asked him to speak to his dad, who is more calm than she is and would understand enough to word it nicely to her. And perhaps suggest a more manageable 3-4 days, break and the 3 days again.

If my husband doesn't say something and I try to cope with it, I'm worried I'll struggle and snap at her, I'll be too exhausted and irritable to care so I don't think I could control what I say.

Am I being unfair? What should I do if my husband doesn't say anything? This is really bothering me :(