pregnancy is hard

I've become self conscious of my body, I don't feel pretty or beautiful. Everything about my body is different..I don't feel attached to myself anymore. I feel crazy and emotional. The fact my baby will grow up without his mother and father together makes me feel like I have failed again. All I've ever wanted was for my children to have their parents together and see a happy mommy and daddy. I don't blame my baby inside of my belly. He's a gift from God. I blame myself for letting another man ruin me. Cheating on me while I'm sitting here 30 weeks pregnant and puts his hands on me anytime I do something he don't like. I'm sick of the bruises I'm sick of the abuse. I just want my old body back and my old mind back, I'm terrified ill never feel like myself again. Pregnancy is hard but depression during pregnancy is even harder