Who can I talk things through with?

Question

Hi

I found out on Monday that I am pregnant, now 4 weeks.

I was taking the pill but while on holiday took it late and had an uoset stomach and so believe this is how it has happened.

My partner is very angry we are in this situation and has said he doesn't want the baby. We have been together a year, and living together, and said the strain of a baby is likely to tear us apart. Financially we aren't in the best position but I really don't think I can have a termination and adoption is not something I'd consider.

Ideally I'd like to keep the baby, although haven't had this conversation with my partner yet. The main thing to be is that whatever decision we make it doesn't risk our relationship.

I feel very on my own at the moment and don't really feel that j can tell friends or family. Ive tried calling Marie Stopes and BPAS to talk things through with someone over the phone but both couldn't help me (not in their contract area for where I live apparently)

I really don't know what to do or where to go from here. I've made pro and con lists for both options and they have left me feeling even more confused. Does anyone know of any UK hotlines or can offer me any advise? Thank you

Answer

Your first priority is you... not risking your relationship because honestly you can decide not to keep the baby and there's a possibility that the guy still may leave.... don't do something you'll regret....unfortunately no birth control method is 100% so every time you have sex that's the risk...best of luck to you hun...

Answer

Just curious why not adoption?

Answer

Being a mother means being selfless for another person and that includes ending your relationship with the child's father if you have to.. If you want to keep the baby you should, it's your body and if you choose not to because of your partner, the one that's gonna end up regretting it for a life time is you... Is that something you can live with bc you don't want to strain your relationship with this man?

Answer

Hey there I'm kinda in the same situation. For me how I see it you live together been together for a while comfortably enough to live together at some point a baby will pop up no matter how carful you are with birth control things happen it's called ' life '. He seems adamant that this baby will end the relationship in my eyes he's not the one! And what u have explained it comes across like he is placing all the blame on u and having some resentment towards you because both of you are in this situation but like I said no matter how careful u are with birth control a baby can pop up. I don't want you to abort the baby because that's an innocent life and only do it because of a relationship. Adoption will be very hard. But I definitely know what ur going through though Hun the back n forth with the thoughts, if you abort you are feeling so guilty of killing an innocent child, if you go for adoption will the baby go to a good home, if I keep it will I be alone will my partner resent me forever. Soooo much to think about with so little time. I say talk to him again and go with whatever decision YOU feel u can cope with best and whatever that decision is try and have a lot of emotional support.

Who can I talk things through with?

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