My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 4 years. He's been telling me for at least 2 years that we will be together forever, get married 1 day, etc. and I've been waiting for the proposal since he started making comments like that. It hasn't come and I've told him a couple times that I'm beginning to wonder why (we actually had a fight about it over Christmas because all our family and friends apparently expected him to propose as well and he was upset about the pressure). He doesn't like me pressuring him about it and believe me I don't want to pressure him but if he's told me he wants to marry me one day then why won't he officially ask... A

nyways I never worried much about it but now we are pregnant, and very excited and happy, but I've been having this feeling like I don't even want him to propose now.. Like its "too late" or pointless or something. Hard to explain... I guess I always imagined him proposing because he WANTED to be with ME for ever and not because he HAS to be with US forever... Does that make sense? I just can't help but feel like because our relationship dynamic is inevitably forever changed now with a child that any proposal I may or may not eventually get is going to be, at least in part, out of a sense of duty... 

I haven't said anything to him because I don't want him to feel pressured or guilty for not doing it sooner but I've been crying about it secretly and feeling stupid and selfish 😕

 I KNOW he loves me a lot and I love him so much too so this shouldn't matter right... But then why am I so upset?