Sex & Relationships
From relationship goals to sex advice: if it's about sex or relationships, share it here.
Needing advice on sexual relationships from someone unbiased (kinda long)
Basics: I'm 21, a virgin, and I worry a lot.
Backstory: So my boyfriend (my first actually) and I have been together for almost two months. It's a semi long distance relationship at the moment because we live about 2 hours apart but we do see each other. We've already started saying I love you. We've discussed wanting to marry each other and wanting children. This relationship is obviously moving fast but I am okay with it because I am happy and do not feel pressured at all, and if I did feel pressured, we could talk about it and he would cool down... Vice versa.
Dilemma: Recently we've been talking about having sex soon because we both want to. He has had sex before, I haven't. I asked him if he was clean and he said he was. I asked for proof and he said he really didn't want to get tested again and I really don't blame him. I trust him 100%, but at the end of the day I am still worried. I have terrible anxiety and one of the things I'm most scared of is getting an STD (main reason while I'm still a virgin lol). I want to wake up the next morning happy about what we did, not worried that I could be sick. After doing research, I decided that using a condom would ease my nerves (I know they only lower the risks but that is enough since I have no reason not to believe that he is clean) so I was back on the sex wagon!
Well a couple days ago we got on the topic of children and he said he wouldn't regret starting a family with me right now. I really, really want that as well but there are a couple of concerns rolling through my head now...
1. Definitely no condom now, so more risk? I don't want to offend him or make him think I don't trust him, but my worrying is because of my anxiety... Not him. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to get retested for something I already know I don't have either.
2. We've talked about living together but we currently don't. He's two hours away, the house I live in would not be somewhere I would want to be pregnant in and a job in another state is thinking about hiring him. If I get pregnant, I want to be sure we will live together no matter where. I'd rather live together before we got pregnant, actually.
3. (Not a serious concern, just want some opinions.) One of my friends is apparently shocked that I'm considering having sex and doesn't think I should just yet. She told me that I need to act like a lady... That I should hold out until summer "at least" because it's too soon to think about having sex and certainly too soon to want children and that I should wait till I am "at least 22". I believe that I am ready. I've had opportunities to have sex before but I always turned them down because I wasn't ready. Doesn't that earn me responsibility points? Is it too soon? Is she just concerned that he'll leave me after? I feel like she's trying to feed me doubts but I don't doubt him at all so I'm annoyed by this situation. Should I just ignore her and do what I want to do, when I want to do it?
Any advice on all of this? Should we wait? Should we use a condom or try getting pregnant? Would it be acceptable to wait to move until I am pregnant? Is this just too ridiculously fast and I can't see it cause I am in love? Haha, any advice would be appreciated! Or stories if you relate!
Thanks in advance! :)