How do I get my man to be Romantic again?!?

We have been together for 9 years off and on, mostly on...The past two and a half years  we made a commitment to each other to keep it together for ourselves and our daughter and we are truly happy in all fields but the bedroom. He has no sex drive and we have no plans to get married but he wants to start to try to have at least one more child in the next three years or so... I agree on the no marriage thing but I'm not sure that I ever want another little one. I would do it for he and my daughter but it's hard to understand how he wants a son yet he never wants to have sex. I initiate and it's either he is too sick or tired , or he does the deed but I know he is not full into it, which makes it Not enjoyable for me bc I need to kno that he is enjoying it or I can't orgasm. Then when he wants it, I MUST give in bc who knows when the next time I can get some lovin!  Does anyone in a long term relationship like this have any advice on how to spice things up in the bedroom? Please help!!