So happy... But it hurts...😥

One of my best friends found out a couple weeks ago she was pregnant... That was the month i was for sure it was me, then i started 4 days early. Naturally i was disappointed, but very happy for her. And very happy i have a god child on the way! She went for her 1st dr appointment on friday where she found out everything is going well, mama an baby are healthy and baby has a strong heartbeat... This is wonderful news and i am so happy for her!!.... But part of me deep inside is so sad, and maybe a little jealous... I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks back in june 2014 that devastated me, and another very early in November 2014. Both times, the first more than the second, all i wanted to see was a heartbeat. I felt like if i saw that little beat on the screen everything would be fine. Thats something ive never gotten to see or experience, is my baby's heartbeat, and i want to so bad! The heartbeat is a huge milestone for me... We've been trying since after my first mc and still nothing. :( my friend wasnt trying at all... Its like im so happy for her, but at the same time it hurts... Ya know?

Positive thoughts and kind words are much appreciated:) thanks ladies!