Need to confess...

I have to get something off my chest... Please try to not be really rude, because I've thought about ending my life over this. And please understand that once I grew up and realized what I was doing, it NEVER happened again!!

When I was young I was exposed to a lot of awful things sexual wise... It let to me kind of being obsessed with sexual acts without understanding what I was doing or what anything was. I was very young, like 8 or so and was changing in my cousins room one day and her big male dog came in and while I was changing licked my private area... All I knew was it felt good so I let him continue to do it. I would also let him do it when we would dog sit him, I would also let him hump me while I was clothed... I also then was curious about boys parts and would go with my brother or cousin to the bathroom and look at them while they had their pants down. Once I got a little older and realized what everything was and what I was doing it stopped!! I found other releases such as just regulare masturbation. I've never done anything like that since. But I hate myself and hate living with this, because no matter what I do I will also be a giant sicko that did those things!! My husband knows these things and told me it wasn't my fault since I didn't know, but I don't believe him. I just needed to tell someone besides him...