Fiancé watching porn of another race :(
hi all I’m African American and so is my fiancé . We both attend a historically black college and my fiancé has always claimed to be “pro black” and always has concerns about black issues and such. Alternatively, I’m a black girl who was actually raised around white people most of my life and only attended my current HBCU for graduate school so while I’m definitely proud of my race I’m not so pro black to the point to throw it around. Interracial dating has always been a popular discussion and something we’ve both spoke to each other about. I’ve stated how I fully understand why some black women choose to be with white men and vice versa. It’s not an issue to me. Ultimately a person should be with who they love and who treats them right. However he says things like “idk why black men find white women attractive” , and “if you ever cheated on me with a white man I’d never forgive you” etc etc. and I said THE SAME thing to him in reply. his brother is even married to a white women and he’s always had very negative things to say about it. So he’s VERY opinion about the subject. Yesterday, I was out at work for a lot longer then I typically would be. When I came home I I opened up his browser on his computer and immediately saw his recent searches were pornos all for “white women with big asses” or “white women and big black (you know what)” and I mean a dozen searches! I immediately felt a huge kick to my stomach and a HUGE slap to my face. I’m not so upset by the fact that he’s watching porn but much more by the kind of porn he’s watching after ALL the things he’s said. I don’t want to turn this into a racial discussion but just understand that black women do have a sensitivity to our black men being more attracted to our white counterparts then to us. We constantly see images of black athletes and actors all leaving their black wives for white women so it’s definitely a sore subject and I don’t expect everyone here to understand where I’m coming from. I’ve always stated that I wanted to be with a man who was fully attracted to ME as a black women. So his is upsetting me because I’ve had very clear discussions with him and have even asked him things in the past about what kind of women he’s attracted to and what not and so now I feel like the biggest problem is he’s a HUGE liar! I just feel like right now it’s porn and the next thing you know he’s going to be cheating on me. I really feel like I’ve been slapped in the face and I don’t even know what to do about it. We’re supposed to be getting married in august and things have already been falling apart financially and I feel like this is just making things worse. Am I overreacting ? What are your thoughts?
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