Since I could remember I had been sexually assaulted by a family member. Over time I had repressed the memories and it wasn't until 6 years ago I therapy that I finally started to unlock some of them. As I got older it made me feel like sex was the only thing I was worth and I didn't deserve love or anything else. I let men use me and even sometimes when I was raped I would think to myself that it wasn't really rape because I wasn't fighting back. I vividly remember one, I was around 15 or 16 and I was hanging out with this guy. I had a crush on him and stuff so we were driving around and he took me to this super closed off area and it was dark out. We made out which I was okay with but he tried going further and I didn't want that. We were alone though and I had no idea where I was so I just did what he asked of me. I feel awful about it to this day and my friends still hang out with and talk to him even though they know what happened. Makes me feel like it wasn't that big of a deal.