everything is against me getting pregnant!!
Lately, I feel like everything is against me getting pregnant. I F I N A L L Y got 2 periods in a row without any medical assistance (b.c., etc...) , for the first time in literally YEARS (otherwise is was random, bi-trimonthly or every 6 months) !! Sunday, I told my husband that we had to have sex every other day this week to maximize our chances of conception and he was excited (we stopped everything baby related, including the adoption process for a couple of months) and said, "Ovulation day is Tuesday? So we'll do it twice that day!", so I was patient and not pushy with him, as he gets overwhelmed and then pulls away. (It's really quite a fucking hassle with him, sometimes and drives me nuts because he's not one to "talk about it") So, Sunday he's "too tired", Monday was no sex, and last night, he had this huge zit in his leg pit, by his crotch, and he POPPED it as soon as he got home! I helped him care for it and it was super sensitive. So, needless to say, Z E R O sex on 2 a day Tuesday...and no sex today, as I'm sour towards him, he's not in the mood, and we'd probably end up hurting him, one way or another, it'd be my fault, like always, and we'd be fighting before he came.🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ He's then trying to be cute with me this am but, I'm so upset with him that I don't even want to be around him. I feel like everything is getting in the way of me getting pregnant and like it'll never happen. He has little sex drive and I don't think he realizes the importance of not missing these things. I've tried to not worry and stresss but, that's way easier said than done. I'm proud I did it for a bit but, it was killing me inside, sometimes. It got so bad that I didn't even want to hang out with our friends because they have kids and I didn't want to be around them. Everyone around me seems to be getting pregnant, whether they want to or not. Anyone else feel like this? Anyone else feel like you just cannot break out of your god damn glass ceiling, no matter how hard you try?? Sometimes I feel he's too scared to actually have kids so he sabotages our chances, without even thinking, ya know??
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