My fiance and I have been together for 4 years now and recently got engaged in May. We've always been know for the couple that never fought and when we did it would be a short tiff and we'd talk through it. These few weeks have been different. We've had a lot of money issues and he's had a hard time controlling his spending. We've talked about it countless times but Monday took the cake. He is a memeber of a motorcycle club and every monday at their club house he bartenends and i sit and shoot shit with the other members. He was complaining about not having money for lunches during the week so I gave him a $20 to last him while he's at work. I leave and go home and get ready for bed. He comes home at 3 in the morning belidgerantly drunk. The only time we have sex is when he's like that so he starts trying to mess around with me and i told him to stop and ask him where he got the money to drink. He said he was using drink tokens but I got up and looked in his wallet and the $20 i gave him was gone.

The next day he left for work and I wrote him a letter to read when he got home stating that I'm not okay with his spending and why he has to be drunk to have sex with me. I was really upset when I wrote it but I headed to work and when I got home I had cooled off and just wanted to get to the bottom of everything. He's sleeping on the couch so I get ready for bed and figure we can talk in the morning. I grab his phone to plug it in and it opens to the last screen and he had been watching porn. I'm not against watching it. Every man does it but the fact that we hadn't had sex in months pushed me over board. I have body dismorphia and have always had an athletic build compared to most girls and I'm extremely self conscious about it even after losing 35lbs. The thing that got me the most was that he specifically looked up petite women. He knows about my body issues and I feel that that is why he has to be drunk when we have sex. I honestly don't know what to do, am I over processing this whole situation? Do I have the right to be upset about this?