Am I the problem or my brother in law?
So my husband and I are living with my brother in law because he was gracious enough to offer us a bedroom while we save for our own home. We've been roommates for a few months now. I cook and clean for the home which I don't mind. I'm the wife and I want to care for my husband and for my brother who is being generous with us.
But he does have a temper. Before he threatened to kick us to the streets because our puppy (who was still being house trained) pooped on his floor. He left the poop on the floor and yelled at us to clean it up.
While our puppy learned to go outside she was do accidents on his floor because he always left his door open even though we reminded him to close it. And every time he'd yell and make me clean it up. He would get upset we left it there but honestly I didn't see it because I don't walk into his room and look around. That's called privacy.
I feel like I do a lot for this house. I prepare nice meals, I clean up after everyone, and I stay out of their way when they have brother time.
But I always feel like a burden at the end of the day. My husband is on my side and has spoken to his brother but his brother will get angry and say mean things while my husband is still at work where he cannot hear. Then basically it's all on my word afterwards.
I don't know what to do.. I want to make our living situation happy and pleasant but I seem like as long as I'm living there my presence is always disruptive.
His brother won't let me decorate the house. He either throws them away or throws them into high places I can't reach to retrieve them.
He does nothing around the house but gets angry when it looks dirty and takes it out on me.
He's told me "out of all 3 of us you're the dirtiest person here" and that really hurt me.
I just feel like my purpose while we live here is to stay hidden away and serve them from the shadows.
We are not financially ready to move out. We couldn't even rent an apartment if we wanted to. So we are basically stuck until we can save more money up... I don't know what to do..
I wanted to add that while my husband was deployed I drove to his brother's house 5 days a week to let his dog use the bathroom because he works an hour from town and needed help. I did that for months. That was a 15 minute drive one way. Now he refuses to let our puppy outside. He will even leave her locked in our room ALL day while my husband and I work.. And he's done that more times than I can count and it really disappoints me. It's as if he's forgotten everything we've done for him and he just expects more from us. It hurts me to come home after a long day to see him lounging on the couch and our puppy still in our room. He let's his dog outside and roam but he'll pass our puppy. Honestly that is what made it so hard to house train her.
Update: I understand a lot of the comments are a big no no for decorating and the puppy. I feel I need to clarify. The decorations are a few picture frames on table tops and a small plant I out on the table. He said he hates anything that needs maintaining. And my husband told him about the puppy and he was OK with it. He actually enjoys our puppy and plays with her from time to time. So yes, I agree that taking over someone's house is a big no no, I dont feel I'm doing that?