So every year my parents host the big family Easter egg hunt. All of our family travel miles for it. My two brothers, six cousins, and their collected twenty children all called in the yard running around. I usually love it. Last year on "Good" Friday I was laying on the bathroom floor having miscarrying my first child. I did go to Easter two days later even though my mom (she and my father and obviously my husband were the only ones there who knew) excused me from it. I did okay, it hasn't really hit me yet. I didn't let it.

Well it's hit me pretty hard since then. I've been going through massive depression since and I've come out the other side but Easter decorations are out and I'm trying hard not to cry daily. I keep flashing back to that horrible day.

Last year at this time I was happily flipping through baby books discussing names and how to tell my parents (we had planned to tell them on Easter...) with my hubby who would speak gibberish to my belly while my dog cuddled close. I was so blissfully unaware of what lay ahead.

Now it'll be my niece's first Easter and while I try to celebrate her, all I'll be thinking of is the baby that should be in my arms, a month older than her...

I dunno I just wanted to post this in case there were any other ladies feeling the same... and to maybe get it off my chest a little...