Friends with Good Intentions?

Question

(For those unaware) on Instagram, many people have "finstas" or fake instagram, which is essentially an unfiltered account where you can post whatever you want because unlike your actual instagram, this "finsta" is for your close friends only.
With that out of the way, I have a friend who has a finsta. Before spring break, she started a diet. Every week she would post updates of her progress with pictures. 
In all of her pictures, she was noticeably sucking in her stomach/holding her breath (which I think a lot of people do instinctually when they're exposed but regardless), these were in the comments section.

Now keep in mind this is an account that only her close friends have access to. 
**QUESTION FOR THE POLL**
How do you feel about friends giving their honest opinion with good intentions? 
Additionally, was this specific instance taken too far by the red user?
And furthermore, what is "too far" when it comes to being honest & trying to help friends?

Answer

I think it would been better if you told her privately, not for everyone to see, I think that's what she's upset about.

Answer

Maybe if you're really close friends. If you're just kinda friends, that's not something you should say. Also, even if it was a close friend that's something you should say privately, not for everyone to see.

Answer

My thing is, if you lie to me you aren't a real friend. If you sugar coat shit and tell me half truths, you're not a real friend. You can tell the truth in a polite way, but your friends shouldn't be sparing your feelings so much that they keep quiet or lie. If you prefer that you dont want friends, you want fans.

Answer

Seems kinda bitchy to me to be honest. Like the girl can't reverse time and take the 'true' starting place picture so saying this seems like a veiled 'we all know you're holding it in' comment.
If she were at the start of her journey then I'd feel differently because it's constructive at that stage. Saying it somewhere down along the line just seems like a put down. I'm always suspicious of 'I'm not trying to be a bitch now but...' comments. People that say that know they are being bitchy.

Answer

I don't mind your comment and believe it was coming from a good place.... however I think it was posted in the wrong place... if you're such good friends with her why didn't you call/text/dm/snap anything really that would only be seen between you two?

I love when my friend tells me things like this but I wouldn't want her to post comments like that under my pics.

Even though it's just for close friends there's probably people she adds just cause. Maybe a boy/girl she likes? Or something.

Just the wrong place in my opinion. Things like that should always be said in private.

If I were you I'd delete the comment and get in touch with her.

Answer

Personally, I would much prefer my friends be honest but "bitchy" with me than lie to me. 
When I ask you if I look fat or something, I want your genuine answer. Not whatever you think I want to hear. Not a white lie. I want honesty. I have a lot of friends who are too afraid to be brutally honest with me and I've just stopped asking for their opinion.

Answer

I toldy best friend i didn't like the bridesmaid dress she chose for us but i loved her so i would suck it up and be in her wedding.

Answer

In all honesty, there are people whose nature is to sugar coat and tell half-truths, people who will blatantly lie to spare you're feelings and people who will tell you exactly how they feel.. you just gotta know your friends.

Answer

If it was my close friend  and it was ridiculously  obvious,  Id personally send her a text and give her a heads up.
If shes a friend i wouldnt want her to be looked at  in a bad light and have  people  talk  badly about her.

Answer

I don't see anything wrong with the friends comment.  I'd probably have a cry if my friend said it to me but would appreciate the honesty.

Friends with Good Intentions?

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