So much hate coming my way but honestly am i the only "evil, selfish (whatever else you would refer me to)" person? If only i could reverse time and not gotten pregnant in the first place. All this has come up because i am pregnant again but will be getting an abortion because i can not stand the thought of doing all of this again. I am 20 with a 6 month old and currently 6 weeks pregnant. Both times i have been on contraception. I do believe in god and dont understand why i am pregnant again... i am struggling so bad with my healthy 6 month old and do not understand why again!? Now i just have to have a termination because i cant stand even the thought of another one. I love my baby to bits just the responsibility is too much! Why was i not blessed with the beautiful family life that i loved and adored so much. I am with my babys father we have been together since we were 15. I just miss our old life. Honestly i may have loved being a mum at 30-35 not 20. My baby needs constant entertainment and i am just a clown. I have lost any motivation to care what i look like anymore gained over 20kgs becoming pregnant. No time for myself. No family to help. Just me and my baby. I understand this is nearly everyones situation. My question is why do i hate it so much? I dont want to be this sort of evil person i feel horrible for feeling this way. But i hate being a mother. The most satisfying thing is putting my baby to sleep, clean and fed. But then we wake up and i go through this feelings again until shes in bed for the night and i watch her with love. I dont understand myself. How do mothers enjoy this life? Is it because they are older? Please dont try and convince me to keep this baby and adopt it out. The decision is made i cant be sober for another 9 months and then live with the regret of adopting my child out.