embarrassed
On Saturday night, I went to take my dog out on our daily walk. As I was walking around the corner, my dog stopped to pee in the grass, but as he finished, two women inside the fire station across the street began yelling at me. They were saying "better clean up that mess, fatass" and I made a confused face, because really, it's dog pee, and it was on the grass. So I just kept walking down the street, but heard them yelling at me, still, saying I was disgusting and sickening. At this point, I was bawling as I walked my dog down the street, and I couldn't stop crying. My dog, on the other hand, kept going his merrily way. 
I texted my husband to let him know what happened and that I was sad and crying in public. I was hoping he would help calm me down because I'm very introverted and socially anxious, so crying in public was the worst thing imaginable. My husband was horrified and furious, and went to confront the women, who laughed at him and me. When I got home, all I wanted to do was sit in bed and cry. I wondered, why were these women so cruel to me? What did I do to them to deserve that, apart from simply existing in my body? I thought about my pregnant body (38 weeks and 3 days at that point) and felt so ashamed of it. This pregnancy has been one of the few times I had ever lost weight in my life (30 lbs) and I have been eating so healthy, exercising regularly for my daughter and myself. Why did my body not feel like enough, despite the amazing things it's doing to provide my daughter with a home, with food, with everything she needs until she's born?
As my husband comforted me, and brought my pets to comfort me, all I could think about was why the women had to go *there* by calling me names. If they truly just didn't like my dog going potty, there were other ways to express that. They wanted to attack me and my physical appearance. It hurt. I'm the person who's never been thin, and has always had body image issues, so being pregnant has really intensified those issues and brought them out. I guess I want to share this because maybe some of you out there are like me and have had something humiliating like this happen. Maybe some of you are like those women, and don't realize how much your words hurt others. But no one knows my struggles, my past, my current health, the foods I eat, the exercise I engage in, my weight loss journey, and the progress I've made. To many, I just look like a fatass, as the women called me, but to me, I know that I am doing all I can to be a better, healthier, and happier person. My body is doing amazing things for my daughter, and I appreciate everything it's been through and done for us.
Comment
Add Comment
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.
