Just not excited

Almost 24 weeks, not excited at all. Gained 11 pounds and weight is huge thing for me, gained 70 with my first and then a small eating disorder after causing me to go down to 98 pounds. I hate how I look, the weight, none of my clothes fitting, being uncomfortable all the time. Please don't judge me, it's just how I feel. I just can't be the only one who feels the same way...