I don't understand

I'm almost 23, married, mother of 1 and I have never had an orgasm. I honestly don't think I can. I am a large control freak and I think I subconsciously won't let myself. I love my husband and our sex is wonderful I get all of the fantastic build up but no release. Actually I don't even know if I've ever even felt the build up. I just want to know what it feels like. Any suggestions?