Husband issues?!?!?

Question

My husband works during the day and I am usually home with the baby while my other daughter is in school. When he gets home all he does is complain the house isn't clean enough or he sits on the couch and plays on his cell phone or watches tv. Him and my 12 year old have had issues and have been fighting a lot the past couple months. One instance was about a week or so ago when we did laundry I told my 12 year old to put her clothes away properly and I guess she threw attitude toward my husband and closed her bedroom doors I guess this made him mad that he threw one of his shoes at the door. He threw it so hard it left a hole. When we had our 1 year old I was the one to always get up with her at night. I have slept for a full night since. I am always the one to change her diaper or bath her or anything he just sits there. I have to ask him to help with her. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Answer

Send him packing. Any person who throws anything in the vicinity of my children (even with a door in between) in anger is NOT someone I want around.

Answer

He sounds like an asshole that doesn't want to be in the situation he is. Lose him if/when you can.

Answer

He sounds like he has the potential to do harm to you & your kids. He certainly doesn't seem to be contributing much to the relationship. I'd let him know he could either step up or get to steppin!

Answer

If it was me personally I wouldn't stand for that kind of behaviour. My partner is a dad and he will put the effort in with his kids. Regardless of whether you or working or not he still has to pull his weight in the home and help out with him family. He also shouldn't show the violence he is showing towards your other child. Sounds lazy and moody and I wouldn't deal with it. My family would be more important and they don't need that atmosphere or behaviour.

Answer

I brought up counseling and he didn't say anything about it. In a way he disagreed he just doesn't want to actually go. He works and I am a full time student even on his days off he sits on his phone or facebook and doesn't do anything. I changed the babies bum before going to class one night and I was gone for about 5 hours I came home and she had a full diaper and was even leaking. I asked when she was changed last and he said when you left. That's when I said I'm done and walked away

Answer

He might be tired but he can't sit around and not help. My husband has a hectic work environment and he comes home exhausted but he still helps around the house without me asking him to. Throwing anything out of anger is juvenile, that shows he is a bit immature and if he was willing to throw it at a closed door between him and your child he is willing to throw things at her when there isn't a barrier to protect her. You guys need some couples counseling and you should make it abundantly clear to him that his issues with your 12 year old and his lack of effort to help with the baby is not ok and has to stop. He has to man up and take some responsibility. He has a family he can't be acting like a child himself.

Answer

You both have full time jobs during the day. At night, when hubby is home from work, household chores should be split 50-50.

That said, you need to figure out what is expected that you do during the day... Cleaning, preparing dinner, doing bills, etc. Once you find a routine things should get easier.

Answer

My suggestion is: have a honest conversation with him. 
I don't know your whole relationship story, but I assume you guys got married for love. So maybe it's time to talk to him and review what your marriage means to both if you. Maybe some things are not the way he wants them to be, as well as other things for you. That could cause different reactions for each one of you. So talk, talk between the two of you, with a clear mind. That's a start.

Answer

I'm shocked by how people are so quick to comment that you should just get divorced for every damn thing. What's the point of taking vows if you're going to treat them as disposable? If you can't fix things and are unhappy, leave. But please try to fix it first.

Your husband sounds miserable and that must be awful for you. I would insist on couples therapy. Often, our concerns come off as nagging and are ignored by men. But with a third party there, you might be able to get through to him. Husbands and wives are partners and he needs to start acting like it.

Answer

I would insist on counciling.  His behavior is intolerable, but I hesitate to jump to divorce so quickly.  Sounds like he needs some anger manangement, and to deal with his issues.  Insist on counciling, if he refuses you may need to seperate until he does.

Husband issues?!?!?

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