I just don't understand. Over 3 years now and the pain just keeps getting worse. And my faith tested more and more. I know people have been trying for longer. I get that. I hurt for them too. It's a desire of our heart! So why??? This heartache over and over again? I've been to ever place with this. Praying. Getting prayer. Crying out to Him. Screaming to and at Him. To just having faith. Trusting in Him and His timing. Letting it go. Telling myself not to worry. To then seeking help medically. Doing what I was told to do, when to do everything. To having people tell me they've had dreams about me or even glanced at me and thought I was. But yet another let down tonight. I'm overcome with emotions more so than ever. Anger. Hurt. Sadness. Unworthiness. Hopelessness. Emptiness. That's where I'm at in this moment. Thanks for listening and praying. I just don't feel I could myself.