My fiancé and I have had our share of ups and downs in our relationship. We have known each other since we were teenagers but never would admit to liking each other until recently. We were 13 & 15 when we met and now we're 26 & 28. Life took us in separate directions but we reconnected last year. Before him and I were together he was constantly back and forth with his child's mother and the last time she left him he became a raging alcoholic. He says us reconnecting saved him from himself (which is true he almost died due to a drunk driving accident not saying it's ok to drink and drive but it was a single car accident that he hit a retaining wall no passenger in the car just him). He's a great guy really but in the last few months he's said some things that have really hurt my heart. He had almost completely stopped drinking and then about two months ago he went back to drinking heavily. This was about the same time his ex decided we didn't need to see his child anymore and I was having issues with my health due to us being pregnant. (We have gotten his child again and have a decent co parenting relationship with his ex I speak with her probably 2-3 times a week. Even when we don't have their daughter bc she is worried about my current health situation and knows I'm home alone 75% of the time) anyways...he told me that in order to want to be around me he has to drink (hurtful thing #1) then he said to me that deep down in his heart he wants to show me the affection I deserve but can't because he stopped smoking( hurtful thing #2), and the last thing is he was constantly comparing my pregnancy to his exs pregnancy I mean I get it thstsnhis first kid but I'm not her and I feel like I will never be good enough because I'm not. (When we met he was smoking weed which I don't find terrible, it's not man made, and it could have been much worse given both of our past drug use I'm 10 years clean and he's 8 years clean. We hold each other very accountable for our children.) he told me that if only he could smoke again he would be able to show me affection which he hasn't started again but I feel so alone in this pregnancy. I should be enjoying it amdnhappy but all I can feel is alone and miserable. Every time I bring it up to him he says I'm just being too emotional. I just don't know what to do or how to deal anymore our baby will be here soon and I'm absolutely miserable. (Sorry this is all over the place I'm just super scatter brained today and trying my hardest to keep it together in front of his kid and my nephews.