Butterflies

In May of 2014, I accidentally got pregnant while on an IUD. I of course miscarried. I was sad and I don't know. It was all so much. I have two kids - at the time I had an 18yr old daughter and 3 yr old son. I had my daughter when I was 15. So I've been a mom for a while now and was ready to not have any more kids. But then May happened. So for months I went back and forth. Was that a sign? Maybe I should try. Plus, I kept getting these feelings in my uterus - butterfly flutters. I have only felt this when I've been pregnant. It was torture. So we decided to try and have another baby. We had the IUD removed and started last September. I got pregnant immediately. By November, I miscarried. I was 2 months along. My heart shattered. I felt even more tortured then before. It really felt like God was playing a dirty trick on me. We decided to try again. I got pregnant in January but lost it again. The fluttering gets worse and worse. I feel it all the time knowing there's nothing there. We are trying again and so far nothing. For the first time, all my ovulation testing is negative. I feel like more and more salt keeps getting poured in the wound. What I hate the most is the fluttering - the tingles, the sensation. I just wish it would stop.