Just needing to vent to peeps who may understand.

First time poster here so hello everyone! I'll get right to it... I haven't been able to conceive after 10 months of trying (husband has children from previous marriage so his spermies are good). I have all the doctor's numbers that I should see but I can't bring myself to make the appointments. I'm afraid if I go I'll get the confirmation that I can't have children and all the hope I have every month will be destroyed. But on the other hand, all the disappointment I have every month will end too. Soooo, I guess I'm asking what you would do? Any advice, recommendations, good jokes to stop these eyeballs from welling up...??