Frustrated to tears

Hubby and I have been not not trying for year we had three loses last year and started saying we r actually trying in Dec (I say its been a year he says 4months) no luck about a week and a half ago he says he doesn't want to try he isn't ready and freaks out so flash to now I get what I think is a pos test AF due tomorrow my boobs hurt I've been throwing up today anf I show him the test yesterday and he says I don't care about his feelings about not wanting to try and that he said he was done trying and he doesn't see anything ... So no either I'm pregnant and completely crushed by his reaction or yet another month and I'm not and he says no more trying ... Idk what to do I'm a wreck I just want yo know for sure and hope that he is exited I guess :,,,(((