Last time nursing

So feeling a little emotional today. Due to medical reasons I had to abruptly stop breast feeding today. My son is one month away from being a year old so we had a good run, but it still hit me hard tonight. With my daughter who is now nine, this part wasn't such a big deal. I figured I would have more kids and get to do this all again, so I moved to the next phase a more excitedly. This is my last baby and I feel the last times coming fast. So tonight I went through our nightly routine a little slower, savoring our time and his littleness. While his blue eyes looked up at me full of love, I nursed him to sleep with a few tears rolling down my cheek as I knew this was it.

I know life will move forward and it's just a stepping stone to the next phase, but it's gotten harder now to meet those last times to any milestones for me. Especially when I thought I had a little more time.