Okay so, tonight I feel like a badass. Call me childish, idc. 😄

So as usual, my husband got off work and came home, he showered, smoked his cigar and than wanted to talk to me about, wait for it.......tupacs murder 😑. I'm not even kidding, I mean that stuff interests me too but we rarely have adult conversations about our goals, kids etc which is stuff I love to talk about. Keep in mind I'm 25 he's 28 going on 29 this Oct. Anyways , I was dozing off when my daughter kicked me and I woke up and started saying how I wish he was more involved w our kids and my LAST pregnancy. 😕😕

His response was, "See, this is why I call you a bitch, you always have some stupid shit to say!" 😮😮 at this point I'm not even mad cause this is a daily thing, I hAve to walk on eggshells around him when I speak.

Than he says he wants me to make him lunch, but I didn't say anything, I didn't move...just looked at him. I'm thinking in my head, "you've got me SO fuked up if you think I'm gonna cook you lunch after that comment"....

Since I did nothing, he says "are you gonna go make me food or your that lazy ?!, cause if not I'm gonna go buy me food"

I told him "nope, I'm not going to cook for someone who is verbally abusive .." and walked away...

😑😐🙄🙄✌✌ doors THAT👉👉 way ass...

He then slept from 2-9 while I was w our kids, we ate dinner, had ice cream, played games, had a blast lol....

Tonight is the FIRST time I have ever stood up to him and calmly said in my own words that I wasn't going to put up w that treatment. On a daily basis I am worn thin, tired, emotional, hurt and down right exhausted in every way...with no help from him or anyone lol but I make the best of it!!

I know some of y'all have seen my other posts and me and my husband have a tumultuous relationship so this is a HUGE deal for me..i come on here to vent and talk because it gets kinda lonely for me, I havent gotten the courage to end my marriage and leave this abusive relationship, but this is a step in the right direction.

I pray that I can continue to stand up for myself 😊😊 If you made it this far to read everything, thanks. I hope if someone is going thru this it helped you..xoxoxox. *UPDATE** Thank you everyone for the comments and positive feedback, I really do appreciate it!! Some of y'all have mentioned physical abuse and in the crazy world we.live in my husband actually use to put his hands on me but now it just the verbal.abuse I'm battling. it Is kinda like the abuse started slow and peaked and is now (hopefully) going to slow down and stop. In March was the last time he touched me, and I ended up needing stitches in my head. I was 3 months pregnant, but we didn't know....until that day . kinda a shitty way to find out your pregnant lol. But I think that experience really was what stopped him from.beimg physical with me. AND...ever since I started to Stand up against the verbal abuse THINGS HAVE CHANGED...yesterday he was fukin SWEEPING Y'ALL!!!! SWEEPING. lol....On Saturday he let me sleep in til 10am, took all the kids to Heb and then he took me.and the kids to the park, played football and rock climbing w the older kids and then bought them all snowcones, even me lol. He called me a bitch again that night over something petty, but I said nothing and went to bed as it was getting late and he went to the room rubbed my belly and whispered "sorry"...he thought I was asleep but nope I heard it lol. So Sunday morning my youngest (2) woke up at 8, and my husband, instead of sleeping in got up w me!....Im not saying my husband is a saint now, but if.nothing changes, nothing changes...I have prayed a lot about this situation as not only do I deserve better but our kids NEED a good role model. I'm still praying the changes that are slowly occurring are going to stick...But regardless I am going to remain positive and whole hearted..ANYONE going thru this, YOU can be okay with yourself and happy again!! 😊😶🙂