I was just over at my family gathering that we have every Sunday and all if aunts were sitting around talking about my cousins that weren't there try to have/having babies. My cousin is trying to adopt and the other is popping out babies left and right. Another has all the kids she is having except she is now going to do foster adoption. All while sitting next to a girl that isn't technically family, but that they have made more family if than they have me and she is pregnant with her second. It was so difficult to sit around and have them talking about that in front of me when I'm the only one without kids and they know how hard I'm trying. I'm glad they are all happy, but it's just heart breaking and I didn't want to leave because I didn't want them to know I was upset. I'm just glad to be home and be able to relax now.