It That Must Not Be Spoken Of (And no, I don't mean Lord Voldemort.)
Okay ladies. Let's be real here. We've all heard about it. We all know it's a possibility. We all know someone it's happened to. We all thought "No way that will happen to me," and maybe it didn't! Good for you, momma! But... Some of us were not so lucky, were we? Yep. Pooping during labor. Oh my God, the horror! The travesty! The downright emabrassingness!!!!! So I'll tell you my story. My first pregnancy was HELL. I had hyperemesis gravidarum (that's fancy-pants, medical terminology for "Severe Morning sickness", or in this case "all damn day from the moment I open my eyes to the time I lay down at night, and sometimes at night too." And no, I can't pronounce it properly. But I can spell! Hey!) However, my birth was pretty much cake. An induction, 23 1/2 hours of grueling labor, and only having the epidural 5 hours before the baby came, but you know what? She was healthy! I was healthy! All was well. My next pregnancy was a breeze! Not sick, didn't gain a horrible amount of weight, I felt fine, I was glowing. And then came labor. I was induced again. Everythings fine. Contractions start. I give my mother and husband specific instructions "I don't care what I say, do NOT, under any circumstances, let me get an epidural." And boy, did I regret that. 4 hours in, I was begging for an epidural. "Pleaseeeeee, please please please, oh God please." But no. No epidural for me. 11 hours in and I'm sure I'm dying. "Oh God.. I have to poop." And poop I did. Not once. But three times. I was so embarrassed. So so embarrassed. 30 minutes later and I was holding a baby to my chest but... I could still smell it. Lord, I will remember this, and be embarrassed by it, when I'm 90!