My boyfriend and I had been trying to get pregnant for 4 months now. On May 5th I had finally gotten the best news of my life. I had went to the doctors just not feeling myself and they had told me I was 3 weeks and 4 days PREGNANT! I cried tears of joy of finally getting the results I wanted. I came home and took another pregnancy test just to surprise my boyfriend and his reaction was priceless " F***en finally!!", he said with the biggest smile I have ever seen in his face. He was so happy we were going to finally start a family of our own, the timing felt so right, I just couldn't wait 'til we had our little baby in our arms! We went to our baby's first appointment at 8 weeks and we got to see and hear our little bean for the first time! It was so unreal I cried tears of joy again after I got to see him/her for the first time. This day was when it officially hit, WE ARE HAVING A BABY 🤰🏻!! We set up out next appointment at 12 weeks and I was literally counting down the days to when I could check up on our baby again, and in this time I was the happiest I have ever been knowing I was creating a human being in my body. July 3rd came and I was so anxious to see how much our little bean has grown. I show up to the appointment and the doctor brings out the heart monitor machine to check on the baby's heart beat, but all we could hear was mine. He said "No worries we will take an ultrasound, it's a very tiny heartbeat we are trying to search for." He comes back with the ultrasound machine and begins to look. As we are looking at the screen, we see the same size bean as when I had first seen at the first appointment. He told me there was no heartbeat and that the baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. How could this happen? This was the best five weeks of my life and now it was just taken from me like it was nothing. My world turned upside down. I have never cried so hard and so much in my life. The hardest part was telling my boyfriend the horrible news after I knew how ready he was to begin a family with me. It broke me down even more, I knew he was trying to be strong for me but I also can tell how much this was hurting him. I cry almost every night, with or without him knowing.. This has been by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through and I just can't seem to get it out of my mind. Rest easy our little angel, I know everyone says God knows what he is doing and there's a reason for everything, I'm still just stuck on why...