*small background*((My dad lived in a small town and thought high school years would be better spent where I don't know anyone than where I grew up my whole life.. then met a boy HAA))

So, my ex and I dated for 4 years .. I found out he was cheating on me.. and no offense to anyone. But we were like 17.. and the girl he was cheating with was 26 at the time and had a 1 year old already and a fiancé .. ohhh AND it's his brothers ex girlfriend. So anyways, you could call us high school "sweethearts" and then I find out he's cheating and I tried so hard to forgive him after he begged me to and then it kept happening. So, I was turning 18 and I decided to move back to my home town, I was there for a while and I was finally starting to move on (even though he was calling me everyday and asking me to move back and he was sorry) I was still trying to move on and then after a year.. my mom asked me to move back to help her out with my baby brother.. I move back and I haven't talked to him in like month. First night back get a call and he's like "I had a feeling you were in town. Are you?" And I'm like ummm yesss I am. And he says "good.. because I'm down the street" sooo I'm like whatever okay we haven't seen each other for a year let's hangout for a bit. Welllllppp I'm stupid. We rekindle our thing but then I find out ... HE NEVER ENDED THINGS WITH THAT OTHER CHICK. I'm like "omg.. I'm stupid" so I again cut ties.

Buuut too late. I'm pregnant.

And when I told him .. he was a reck. He was crying and apologizing and begging me to forgive him.. he tells this girl I'm pregnant and ... within a month of me telling him they run off and get married and I get a message from her saying "you need to get rid of that thing he won't be there for it you're nothing to him" and she changed his number well I called his mom so that we can be adults about the situation and he starts crying when he sees me and his now wife freaks out.

And he just tells me "I'll be there financially but I can't be there for her" and he leaves the room with her crying ... he goes on texting me FROM A TEXTING APP for 3 months .. not one texting app 7 different apps saying "hi, How are you?" And everytime I asked who it was the number would get deleted until one night he says who it is and that he loves her so much and he loves me and wishes he could make things better and that we could be a family and that he's sorry he ruined everything. I went off kinda. I was defensive .. "she's mine.. you walked away from her.. for our entire 4 year relationship you swore you wouldn't do this to our child if it happened" he would rub my stomach saying "one day there's going to be baby in there OUR beautiful creation will be in there"

I haven't talked to him since May.. and she's due in September.

And I know I probably sound stupid or at fault. But like .. it sucks because I want him more than anything. I'm 19 and I'm doing it by myself (with my mom) when all I want is him to realize that she's the only person who matters.. and she needs him. That I need him...

Does that sound wrong ? PLEASE put your honest opinions on my story. I haven't talked about it to anyone really except my one best friend because all my other friends are too judgmental when it comes to him.

Almost 8months pregnant and he hasn't seen one ultrasound picture. He's never heard a heartbeat and he's never seen my stomach.

(That's us after prom driving home and going to our after party.. welp we used to be happy at least have those to show her one day)