So i messed up big time. I'm living together with my bf who is 25 years older ,I'm 22 he is 47. I moved in with him when I was 18,I left my family home to be with him,I told my fam that I want to move to study in college that I like when in reality I went to that college for about 2 weeks and left. I wasn't doing anything for 3 years then I got a job and worked then left ,So he is working most of the time. His profession is an interpreter but he works as delivery guy for pizza shops most of the time. He is not bothered to look for a job in his profession,I'm not sure why. He is a bit controlling,I think he has been cheating on me ,very immature for his age,and generally can not deal with life. Well I feel like i succumbed to it to and don't know how to deal with life myself...i really want to leave him but I'm so scared,I don't know how to find a job ,I don't know where I can move ? Going back to my family is out of the question as I been lieing to them for all this time and I don't want to be seen as a failure..i know I asked for this trouble when I moved in with this guy but please help me figure things out ! Btw sorry for my English,It's not my first language .