Little sex = problem with relationship?

Question

Ok so i have been with my SO for about a year now. We use to have sex almost every night- not a whole crazy ton of sex, just a normal amount. For the last few months that has decreased a whole lot. Now our relationship was never about sex to begin with but recently we have only been having sex a couple times a month. Legit a 2 times (maybe 3 tops) We don't have any issues in our relationship that I know of. He seems happy n i am to as far as this goes. Also, he doesnt really ever watch porn and masturbate alot but sometimes he does. When this happens I feel like he is choosing it over me but like i said before- it literaly doesnt happen that often! When I brought mt feelings up to him he stated that he just doesn't feel the need to have sex all the time or that the relationship isnt about that so sex isnt on his mind (i should say in the beginng he didn't really want sex a whole then either eveb but we did have a normal amount of sex).

Is having sex really that important in a relationship? I mean, he doesnt seem intrested in it anymore but hes still acting normal. Could it be his age (27) or is there some undying problem we have that im blind to? Hes not cheating, i know this for a fact so i am just confused at this point

It honestly seems like hes just not interested in sex anymore period-with anyone. I dunno, any advice?

Is having sex really that important in a relationship? I mean, he doesnt seem intrested in it anymore but hes still acting normal.  Could it be his age (27) or is there some undying problem we have that im blind to? Hes not cheating, i know this for a fact so i am just confused at this point
 It honestly seems like hes just not interested in sex anymore period-with anyone. I dunno, any advice?

Answer

My SO is 28 and he's the same way. However, he doesn't masturbate or watch porn that I know of. He just doesn't have a big sex drive anymore. It caused a lot of issues after we had our baby. While I was pregnant I understood why he didn't want to but after I was cleared I never understood and we had many fights about it all the time.... FINALLY he explained to me that he viewed me differently now he cared for me more and he also respected me more. He suggested I initiate things. And even though we don't have sex every other day we also don't have sex once a month anymore..... we've finally found a happy medium. We both try to shoot for once a week (usually on A off day).... also, we make it a point to hold hands or cuddle or random pecks on the lips. We haven't had a fight about it in a month and a half

Answer

My husband is 28, will be 29 in November, and when we started dating (he was 22) sex just wasn't that important to him. I think we had sex because he knew I wanted it. Now, 6 years later, he is finally getting the sex drive that I use to have. I think some guys have to be relaxed in order to have sex. So if you man I stressed, he may not be feeling up to having sex. It's not you. His mind is winning out over his body. I say if you know he isn't cheating and he acts normal, just be supportive. He will circle around to wanting sex more and more. At least that's been my experience.

Answer

I could have written this myself- my husband is the same- he's 39. Your so being 27 should have nothing to do with it. Plenty of much older men have full, active, happy sex lives. we saw a psychosexual councillor about 6/7 years ago as my husband made me feel as if I was obsessed with sex and that it was me with the problem (because I wanted sex once a day, but would settle for 3 times a week and hubby refused). our councillor said I was normal and my hubby was the one with underlying issues but my husband refused to go back. To me, having a professional telling us that a man in his 30's to not want sex is unusual, means that a 27 year old not wanting it is very unusual and he could have underlying issues. 
Have you tried talking to him? maybe ask him if there's anything else going on? Depression can reduce sex drive in both men and women. Unfortunately though, if he doesn't think there's an issue then there's not much you can do. 
My husband has been like this on and off for about 7 years now- things improve for a while and then go back to being really bad. I hate the lack of emotion, closeness and passion and it is slowly killing our marriage. 
Personally, I'd say if he's like this after only a year and if he doesn't want to talk about any underlying issues, then it might be better to walk away. I'm not saying you're the same, but I know for me, lack of intimacy causes me to doubt my self worth, my confidence nose dives, I feel unattractive, unwanted, unloved- a wide range of negative emotions and it becomes hard to take care of myself and the kids when I'm feeling so low. 
Please don't let him make you feel like you're in the wrong or that your feelings/wants/ needs don't matter x

Little sex = problem with relationship?

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