What do you think?

Question

Before anybody says anything this was on a public page on Facebook. Just want to know others thoughts on this. I myself had no father growing up so I feel like the main reason I tried so hard to get my child's father to be here was because I didn't want my baby growing up without his Daddy like I did. It messed with me a lot as a child and I didn't want my son going through the same thing.

Answer

From what I have seen in my life many times, it's never the mother pushing the dad to see them. It's the child begging to see the dad and the dad begging to see the child as well. If I was in that position I would not want him around my child if he truly didn't want to be.

Answer

I've never understood those women who air their business about their child's father or vis versa and talk so badly about each other. It's sets an awful example for the children. Also at one point or another you had some respect for them to make a child together. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

It's usually the kid begging the mom to see the Dad. Plus moms want the best for their kids. And sometimes they think having them see their father is the best thing

Answer

this is dumb imo. I have seen through my own family and others that its the woman wanting to keep the child from the father because they get more from it that way. They get control they get child support they get to make the decision without having to consult the father on anything. if a guy doesnt want to be a parent he wouldn't be around he wouldn't be part of the child's life. the ones that do are usually set up to only have visitation, meaning 4 days a month, with their child. And the father has to fight to get more if the mother is unwilling to allow more in the first place. mothers act like father's need to prove themselves good parents before they can allow the father to be more involved and that's if they even want to consider that. he may not have been they perfect partner for you but that doesn't make him a shitty dad. this is in the instance where no abuse or neglect or drugs are involved because thats a whole different story and cause for concern with a child and their safety. there are many father's who fight so much just to see their child because the mother isnt just willingly fostering a relationship between the father and child but hindering it by talking badly about the father not letting the father see the child even on court ordered time and even faslely accusing the father of things that didn't happen making him jump through hoops to see his child, losing valuable time with his child that he will never get back. yes you should be pushing for your child to have their father in their life but you cannot force one that doesn't want to be there. the father that does will gladly be there and help out and want to have more time with his child and in that case your not pushing the child onto him he is being a father like he is supposed to be and wanting to be.

Answer

I don't think anyone should force someone to be in their/kids life. At the end of the day the children know what's up. I'm a product of a divorced home and I seriously have issues from it. My mom was really manipulative in getting full custody of us. She would send us off to my dad (who actively did everything he could to be near us even buying a house he only lived in on the weekend)  and when she got us back she would drill us with millions of questions on what went on only to bring it back to the courts. Eventually she got complete custody for about 6 months I was not able to call or see my dad. I had to use my friends phones to contact him. 
My mom never forced anyone to have kids with her. My dad loved my mom and did everything for her. She cheated on him brought another man into our families home just to fuck that POs in her marital bed. While their children were home. I watched this man change my brothers diapers, cuddle up to my mom, then sneak out the back when my older siblings would come home (my dads 4 kids from a previous marriage) . While my mom never forced my dad to be a dad, she did deny him time from being a father, she denied him his family, and denied my brother and I a stable home. For that I'll never forgive her. 
I have serious trust issues because of it. I consume myself in work just like my father. In fear that my SO is going to leave me just like my mom did my dad. And to be honest that same shit has happened twice already to me. I'm fortunate now to have someone that's been in the same situation. Unfortunately he also has a child that was forced on him (gave the girl money for a smushmortion and she kept the money and the baby) and also kids from a previous marriage whose BM doesn't allow him to see the kids. Even though he pays for everything and his GI bill pays for the house she lives in

Answer

I'm perfectly fine I stoped talking to my dad years ago effected me in no way  my kids won't have a dad anyway sooo

Answer

I honestly hate the idea of having children with an awful man who wouldn't want anything to do with his child. Those men are cowards. But I think its better for a child to have a good role model and a stable parent in their life. If they are going to have a dad who is going to make them feel like shit, they are better off without him.

What do you think?

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