Please read my story... idk how to title these things...

I really need you to read this.

I need someone to know my story..

I really need some outside advice. Please do not bash me or insult me, I know I should've left long ago. But it's hard when your heart really loves someone...

This is what happened that changed my life forever..

I met my best friend/boyfriend when I was 14.. we didn't date cause he was older but remained friends and did keep contact with each other. When I turned 18 he took me out... it was sealed after that. We were in love. Or I was at least. He was my dream guy.. the one who's MySpace I used to stalk.. the one who's picture was on the front of my school binder.. the one who I dropped my whole life for the moment he said he wanted me. Things moved kinda quick.. he moved in at my moms for a few months before we got an apartment. I got pregnant in late 2011 with our daughter.. she was born August 9, 2012. Things had got rough and we split up early in 2013. He moved out, left... so after a month or so I started entertaining myself with other people...he told me he was staying with his aunt and wasn't seeing anyone (which I'm sure was a lie) but anyway, my ex and I still messed around a couple times or whatever at that point and I ended up pregnant. I had to tell him that I couldn't be sure it wasn't the new guys baby.. ya know.. I'm not gonna lie about a baby. So then he wanted to get back together and I wanted to be back with him all along so there was no question I had him move right in...he knew I was pregnant but was very mad about it.. uncertain of whether or not the baby was his.. (I wore a condom with the other guy I'm sure it was his..) I ended up having a lot of issues and my son was stillborn on October 3, 2013.. 28 weeks along....it was the worst thing I ever have experienced. 💔 RIP Noah

After that he still stuck by me.. it was hard and he wasn't sad... we stayed together and tried and tried during this point for another baby and couldn't conceive for years 😔 it was ok from then until late 2015.. I left him. I just wasn't happy. I honestly just wanted him to straighten up... be who he used to be.. ya know.. well we tried being apart me staying at my dads and him at the house for a few months. We still messed around.. we just talked on the phone a lot and we're more like "dating" than our regular "married" life.. I always took care of our daughter btw.. he never got her.. well I decided to move back in November of 2016.. he wanted to be a family again and so did I.

During this time Things were so different.. my anxiety was worse than ever. He was hiding so much from me I could feel it. He swore he wasn't seeing anyone during this time period. Well, time passed and I got nosy and decided to look at the footage from our surveillance cams.. (we have two outside and one when you walk into the living room) and YUP he had a woman there...i knew who she was. She was a friend of his "best friend" I start digging up info about her and I see that she has a baby...

I looked at the time frame and it fit perfectly. He had a baby with another woman. That was his baby. I felt my heart break into (I'm crying writing this) so many pieces.. my world ended. He said he didn't know. He said that he slept with her and wore a condom and he had no idea about her being pregnant..

everyone else says he knew the whole time... WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO HAVE A BABY THIS WHOLE TIME 💔💔💔💔💔👑💔💔 her baby is 3 months old now and looks similar to his other boys and I know it is his...

I can't even begin to explain how I feel.. devastated.. angry.. omg I'm broken.. what do I do???? And why is it that SHE (this random girl that comes along after 8 years and raising OUR daughter) deserves the child I couldn't have...

and why did he lie?

Not my man...y'all 😭😭😭😭

I'm crushed...😞