I was a much better mother before I was a mother.

I told myself that I'd never give my baby a pacifier. But then my beautiful baby boy came out sucking his thumb, and his daddy and I decided we'd rather him suck a pacifier that we can take away, rather than try to detach his hand later.

I swore Co-sleeping was to dangerous. But one hand built Co-sleeper later and being able to simply reach out to comfort him at a moment's notice, is so comforting. I know I can be there for him immediately.

I swore I'd never be selfish enough to let him cry it out. Well, I really didn't get a choice when I got food poisoning and he wanted to cuddle.

I promised he wouldn't be a TV junky.... His favorite song is "You're Welcome," from Moana, if you wanted to know.

I thought I'd be able to exclusively breast feed. With a baby who likes to chew and has a hard time latching, instead of he and I getting extremely frustrated and him starving, I'm pumping and supplementing with formula when we go out.

I won't take him out the house until 6 weeks old, I said. Well his first trip to the grocery store went fine at one and a half weeks old.

I told myself he wouldn't go to anyone's house to be watched before six months old... And then his two month shots happened after five days of no sleep and him constantly crying, my wonderful soon-to-be brother and sister in law saved the day by watching him so I could sleep.

I laughed at getting an epidural. I'm was strong enough I told myself. We're made to go through labor. And then the pitocin kicked in.

Here's the point. I had no idea what it was like to have a baby. I'm sure my next one will break all of the rules we didn't want to do for this one.

Maybe the next one I'll let them lick the floor at Wal-Mart to build up their immune system, or giving them cereal at 5 months. Or maybe I'll do what I thought I would've done originally.

Kids are hard. I'm barely understanding this. If I went back in time and told myself all of the things I'm doing now, I would have judged myself so hard.

Your babies love, trust, and depend on you more than anyone else.

Know you're making the right choice for your babies, you know and love them more than anyone else.

Edit: if you'd like to share this on Facebook be my guest but please share It from the page Manic Mommy. it's a personal blog of mine I just recently started. I need something to do when my son takes one of his 15 minute naps on me im not allowed to move.