So i just turned 21 on march 26th. On march 25th i started bleeding heavy with a few small clots, i rushed to the emergency room where i had my levels checks and an ultrasound done everything said baby was fine had a heartbeat and everything. I went home and tried to enjoy my birthday even though i knew something wasnt right. So on the 27th i went back to the emergency room because the color of my blood was still bright and i was having some cramping, not horrible but consistent. As i was waiting for a room i felt the need to use the restroom and as soon as i sat down a big clot came out. As soon as i looked in the toilet i knew it was my baby my hands started shaking i was scared, i ran and got a nurse to have her confirm and she just flushed my baby down the toilet. Ultrasound later confirmed that i had indeed passed the baby. Im really struggling with this because instead of the sense of guilt and grief, ive gotten a sense of relief, its like after my last miscarriage i was just waiting for something to happen and now that it has i dont have to worry so much about it and im kinda glad for that. Not for losing my baby please understand that my two angels were the light of my life for the few weeks they were with me. And i will never want anything more than to be a mommy to a beautiful baby some day.

When i was probably 15/16 i was told i probably have pcos as there are not any single tests to be ran to confirm they go off of symptoms. I had extremely irregular periods, im very overweight mainly on the top half of my body, always used to have oily skin and hair extra hair growth on my face, other areas. And honestly just a general feeling of never being a 'full woman' no woman wants to feel manly.

Ive recently found a bald spot about the length of a bic lighter on the back of my head, i honestly dont know how long its been there, me my sister and my so discovered it one day and im kinda scared that it may be a clue into my miscarriages. That my untreated pcos and hormonal imbalance has caused me the lives of the only dream ive ever had. I need you ladies to share some insight into this crazy world of pregnancy that i thought i was educated on.