Epilepsy? F U

I guess this is more of venting, I have tried for a couple of months and I just want to cry when I come on my menstrual I feel like a failure to my boyfriend, and my sister (who wants her niece or nephew lol). I mean I want to have a baby by my boyfriend he's awesome. I hate having epilepsy cuz I have to remember to take that nasty medicine right along with folic acid. And my neurologist suggests to wait a little cuz I have a seizure or two recently but I have gotten on top of my medicine and she's like if you want to do it. I'm going to keep trying and when it happens I'll show everyone my pregnancy test stick.