Unfound love

I truly felt like he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I just don't even know what to feel anymore, it's like the harder I try the more he pushes me away. I've honestly been so hurt by relationships so much to the point where I don't want to love anymore some days. I'm so tired of being in love it hurts now more than it ever has. this is not how I imagined my life at 25, I'm lost completely and I just want so badly to be loved by someone who deserves me more than I deserve them. I fell for the worst Heartbreakers and now I feel empty. I can't seem to get it right with anyone something always goes wrong. I don't want to ever give up on finding my true love and so I won't.