Sudden depressive episode.

I woke up today and felt horrible about myself. I have a history with BDD and severe anxiety, along with sudden episodes of depression in which I have the urge to hurt myself. Over the past nine months, I haven't hurt myself. But today when I woke up, I felt as if I was nothing. I'm not suicidal, but I feel like if there was a button to make me stop existing, I would push it. I thought I was doing so much better.