Frustrated and ready for it to be done

This post serves no purpose other than to vent. I just need to get out what I'm feeling. I found out that I was pregnant July 28 and we were absolutely over the moon. This would be baby #2 for us and we couldn't wait to add this new addition to our family. Something didn't seem right though; my BFPs never got darker and although my symptoms were strong (sore breasts, food aversions, nausea, heightened sense of smell) they disappeared literally overnight. My doctor drew a beta-hcg and progesterone...they were normal. She said if I felt like I needed to I could recheck later in the week. Three days after the initial blood draw my hcg was only 13 and my progesterone was 1...no where near where they should be. My doctor said with my numbers being so low I would probably start bleeding soon and we would recheck my levels to be sure they dropped back to zero. I started bleeding the next day (my 30th birthday 😭) and had my hcg level redrawn yesterday, five days after the bleeding started. It was 18. My doctor mentioned that she would like to recheck on Monday and said that with my levels being so low not much would be visible on an ultrasound and there's no reason for a d&c.; I'm just so frustrated with so many mixed emotions from sadness to anger; I just want it to be done so that we can try again. I want answers, I want my level to be zero, or I want to still be pregnant. I just hate this and I'm so sorry to anyone else I ho has been through this; it's not fair. Sorry for being a Debbie Downer. I just don't want to deal with this anymore.