Why Anorexia Isn't A Joke

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

Disclaimer: some of you may have heard my story and know my name. This time I don't want my name attached to it. Because there are tons of people on here who don't,, and when I do discuss it im very very open but almost emotionless to it. This post is full of emotion.

So, back to the topic:

I've bet most of you have heard "oh she's so anorexic! She should eat a cheeseburger" jokes. Well I've seen it on glow/eve a lot. Especially when skinnier women are asking for confidence boosts.

Let me tell you a bit about myself to better explain why I care so much:

I'm 16 currently. But when everything started I was 14. I got drunk and went to go to the washroom, I got raped in the washroom. I never told anyone, and was for the most part able to pretend nothing happened. Until a month and a half passed by, and I thought maybe my period was delayed by stress. NOPE I was about 6 weeks pregnant. I decided: I need an abortion. So I booked one for when I could get up there (in 4/5 weeks). I miscarried at 10 weeks.

That's when things went downhill, now something that even though I was planning to abort died. And someone raped me to put it in me. I felt disgusting and gross and wanted to crawl out of my skin. Previous to this id been diagnosed with anxiety, and shortly after the rape depression. I went off my medicine because they weren't making me feel okay. Just tired and gross and groggy. I later found out a 14 year old should not be prescribed those. But I felt out of control. The rape was out of my control, the depression was spiralling me down a dark dark time.

So to try and gain my control back I started focusing on my weight. NEWS FLASH: anorexia isn't about weight. It's about control. And at about 99lbs I was losing control of even my anorexia. So I started cutting my wrists.

My boyfriend used to hold me down kicking and screaming to get some WATER in my mouth. Because my mom didn't care enough.

But anyways.

That's my personal connection.

Joking about something I struggle with, is not funny. Telling me to "eat a cheeseburger" is not funny. Because you don't know that it gives me panic attacks to eat anything that carb filled. You don't know that everytime you make a joke about how skinny I am, it makes me feel like "well I should get skinnier"

It's NOT a joke. Not when you live it. So don't fucking use it as a joke.

Because you using it as a joke can be someone's inspiration. Anorexia kills. It almost killed me.

Thank you for reading.