My husband the bachelor, time for divorce?
My husband leads the life of a bachelor. He always has. From the time I met him he lived like he has been single. It must have slowed down after and incident where he and his friends had a falling out (it was a bad situation so he really only had me. I think we were great for a few years. Fast fwd a few years later and we are back to his single living.
I married him when he was 25, he had this bad boy thing going on but I tamed him. He is now 31 years old. He had plenty of time to be single and live it up.
We both work full time and he has found a new best friend. During the week we work I come home and go through the motions of mother and wife. Our son has sports multiple times a week and my husband is in a softball league. When he comes home from work he has clocked out for the day, he sits on the couch and plays on his phone while simultaneously watching tv. He neglects his duties at home (lawn mowing, trash, helping clean up). His solution to my nagging him about helping me is to pay someone to do his chores.
On the weekends he is usually at a concert (leaves at 4pm and concert ends at 11pm, he then goes to his friends house or to the bar comes home around 4 am) he might be night fishing (leaves around 8pm and returns around 4am), he might just go to the bar (9pm to 4am). Sometimes two of these outings happen in the same weekend. Every may he runs off too camp at the race track from Wednesday to Sunday (Indy 500 weekend) party and get drunk. Last may I was 9 months pregnant, he didn't care. In the fall he leaves all weekend to hunt, he didn't hunt when I met him. He just started this and spent thousands on equipment without my knowledge. I know 100% he isn't cheating, ive followed him, he is where he always is. He just feels like he can do whatever he wants. He says "I don't have to tell you where I'm going im a grown man." And likewise he says "if you want to go out you don't need to tell me where you're going." Bullshit if I go out he blows my phone up every hour because he is bored.
It's finally coming to a head he won't change. All I ask for is love and attention. He can't give it to me because I don't give him sex daily so if I'm not meeting that need he can't meet mine. Everything wrong in our marriage he blames on me, takes no responsibility. I react to his neglect and I pick fights just to get any attention. He spends more time outside of this house with his friends than he does actually spending time with me. If we do go on a date he is thinking about his next move. We can go out for an awesome date and then come home and he will leave with his friend. Last weekend we went to dinner and bowling, we left early cuz he had a headaches he then went fishing a couple hours later. For years he had me feeling crazy but I've been seeing a counselor and I'm realizing I'm not crazy. She even asked me "do you see this as emotional abuse?" I didnt until she asked that question... he is at he worst party boy phase when he gets me pregnant.
I'm on my third pregnancy and my mother finally told me that she hates when I get pregnant, not because she doesn't want a baby to love on but because I am never happy. I can't look back on any pregnancy and say I was truly glowing/happy. We have been into it big lately, he left to stay at his moms on my request. Everyday he says we will talk about is but it gets out off because he is tired or frustrated, or if I start crying he says "I'm not gonna talk to you if you're gonna cry."
Since we are taking a breather he def doesn't tell me anything. I found out via FB that he is selling his fishing boat. I called him after work and he said "I'm with the guys going to this concert." He told me after the last concert he was done with concerts. So when I mentioned that, he said "well since we are separated it doesn't matter." I reminded him that our son had a football thing and he got mad for me not reminding him earlier in the week. So he doesn't have to tell me anything because we are separated (not like he ever told me before) but I'm supposed to remind him of things like we aren't separated. He is an effing hypocrite. He gets the same football communications that I do. While we are separated he conducts business from our home office so he is always here trying have sex with me, his idea of affection is sticking his hands down my pants or grabbing my tits and I say stop I'm the evil bitch. I don't want sex with him at all right now, I'm so turned off by him.
Everyone thinks that he is a great guy and he mostly is but they don't see the other side of him. He thinks he is father of the year and I would love to call him out on it. He hasn't been to a single baby appt this pregnancy and barely any the last one. I'm currently 27 weeks and he hasn't been to one, not even the ultrasound. He is just sooo busy at work. Let me tell you he comes home sometimes in the middle of the day to take a nap 😒. But if he wants to take off to have fun he makes it happen. He can be controlling, manipulative, secretive, selfish, childish. I think I'm done.
I wish I could share his damn snapchats from his outings. It's pretty ridiculous. The sad part is that if I left him I'd probably be on welfare, I'm a licensed teacher and I'm telling you after taxes and all the other deductions I bring home less than 30k a year.