my heart is shattering. kind words please

After about three or four days home my fevers beyond the spiked to 103 and 104 again. They sent me for an MRI and the osteomyelitis had spread throughout my whole femur. I what is sent to a specialist a few hours away and he decided I had to have surgery the following day  to open my femur and take out the infection. When waking up from anesthesia I had a seizure which landed me back in the ICU for five days.  I was able to go home on my sixth day which was a Sunday night.

My parents came down on Tuesday because my husband had to go away for a work trip on Wednesday morning.  He left and give me a call around eight saying they were taking off. At 8:30 I was getting ready to sit on my bed with my baby girl and when I lifted up the leg I had surgery on I heard three of the most awful pops and have the most excruciating pain. I began to scream on controllably not cry scream. After the most pain I've ever experienced in an ambulance and several hours at the hospital they told me that I broke my femur in the same like I have just had surgery on and you had to be transferred to the hospital several hours away to have surgery. I woke up from surgery with a plate and 10 screws and over 140 staples.  

My baby is now seven weeks old and I have spent less than two weeks with her. We also have a year and a half year-old son. My heart is completely shattered they come back to us this Wednesday and I feel like neither one of them are going to remember me at all. I feel like a failure as a parent because I haven't been able to take care of them and they've just been being bounced around from my parents to my husband's parents. They're too young to understand what's going on but I'm scared that they're scared. I'm still not gonna be much help with my older son because for the next six weeks I'm still on IV antibiotics twice a day and completely nonweightbearing on my right leg. 

I just needed to share my story with someone because my heart is shattering and I'm not sure what else to do. Any kind words would be incredibly helpful if you took the time to read this thank you.